Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Product and Design People

The Product and Design People
Ezra was Product. This is why he can’t send himself off to law
school. From well before my beginning, Ezra was making
important product decisions and coordinating whatever was
happening on the site. Ezra had no product management
experience before coming to Facebook. He was contacted while
backpacking Europe because Sean Parker had been randomly
sleeping at his house during the school year. He started working
the day he got back to the States.
Karel Baloun 43
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
Then Noah and Ezra alone were Product. And there are a lot of
products, so I can’t really see how they manage. The main critical
factor in all of his decisions is that Zuck needs to agree with them,
and none of the engineers go truly ape-shit. Most of Noah’s and
Ezra’s time seems to go into talking through the page layout with
the designers, answering engineers emails about whether to do
something this way or that, and entering hundreds of pre-release
bugs. Designers36 mean Zuck has 8 hands. Aaron was Zuck’s
first designer, and Aaron taught the organization that designers
should be very technical, since he creates new fonts and writes
Mac desktop software on the side. I’m not sure if Aaron is full
time at Facebook or UC Berkeley or both, but he’s the one person
who I never know where he is. When he’s focused, he’s the most
productive front end guy I’ve seen, but even The Man is
sometimes stymied on generating that focus.
One of my best engineer friends37 was Nico, who is old like me,
but runs marathons and is an accomplished drummer. Nico kept
me sane, as nothing ever pulls him out of his rhythm. Chris Cox
is also a musician and a philosopher with deep spiritual interests.
In general, these geniuses like the other engineers at facebook,
are talented in many ways, and it’s fun to just watch them. My
only talent was throwing empty bottles into the recycling from
44 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
36 Bryan, Sol and others. Bryan worked something like 96 hours in his first week
doing Facelift. Sol stands as he works, which just looks as cool as his salutation
(“take it light”) sounds, though he says it just keeps him awake.
37 in the Real, as well as facebook context.
across the room, but fear of injuring the graffiti forced me into
semi-retirement.
Two other members of my team I got to know quite well. Jordan
is a sophomore at Stanford now, and he is the brightest kid I
know. He’d always look right to the hardest part of any project,
and dash out possible solutions like an idea machine. It always
took longer for him to explain his solution to me than it took for
me to explain the project or task. One challenge with hiring
geniuses though, is that they want to do things cleverly, while
challenging themselves to learn all kinds of stuff around it while
they do. Whether the product is ever finished, or actually does
anything practical, is sometimes secondary to whether it was a fun
and challenging process to do it. On the other hand, he can get
impressive things done, as when as a senior intern he built a full
administrative web application for his high school, which I think is
used by all the teachers and students now.
In many ways his diametric opposite was Christopher, who is like
the prototypical effective consultant/contractor. He’ll finish a task
in the fastest, simplest, least complex way possible, ideally
mapping it to some code he’s written before or found. Chris
always focuses on the people he’s working with, the feature or
goal he’s working on has people on the receiving end.
Singlehandedly he’s built out a successful business, showing that
one person with a balance of people and technical skills can be
independent.
Karel Baloun 45
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
Steve Grimm was a second key trusted consultant. Even after the
company decided to continue with exclusively full time
employees, Steven (and Jordan) made the cut, too brilliant to let
go. Steve would be put on whatever distinct piece of the
application was most difficult, and would attack it meticulously.
Steve visited China where he noticed the entertaining fact that
pirated DVDs are often produced with completely random reviews
printed on the box - including some which note that the movie
was terrible.
Any startup has too much work for too few people. Amy is the
principle database engineer, which means that she does every
single bit of database related work for over 200 servers. I enjoyed
running my all night schema conversions scripts with her for 3
consecutive nights. All night work is pure fun and joy for the
young, who don’t have to get their kids to school at 8:30am.
Jeff Rothschild, various incarnations of VP of Engineering, was the
most critical hire in the history of Facebook. He has made so
many right calls on hiring and technology, and kept the ship
stable until TS came aboard. Jeff is so important that Zuck offered
to create a nickname for him, to bind him closer to the company,
but the JRo nickname didn’t stick, even though JRo is the hippest
VP of Engineering ever. Seriously, both Noah and I think he’s
cool. In his spare time, he fixed the most serious hardware
problems before vendors could figure out what’s going on, and he
intimidated vendor sales staff by telling them, “no, I actually have
built that kind of product myself, and that’s not how it works.”
46 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
Matt Cohler is the man with the most hats. He’s always VP of
whatever needs doing most today, perhaps the most important VP
at a startup. Matt is so thoughtful when not distracted: he
actually sent Mimoli (my daughter, and creator of this great girly
dinosaur) a lava lamp when she was ooohing and aaahing one, on
my self-designated bring-kids-to-work-day. He’s also always
typing on his Crackberry.
Matt at one time also led the charge for Pokey, who could have
been the essential symbol of a major product direction, before
real marketing was hired and shut him down. Pokey represents
poking, which you know as an original facebook activity. Pokey’s
last name is Schlegel, since that may be Matt’s favorite German
philosopher. People did at one time spend hours discussing
details of Pokey.
His counterweight is the COO Owen, who’s responsible for
actually translating the visions into a massive written plan, and
then just glaring at people with those powerful steely eyes until
they run away and make it happen. Owen’s claim to fame is his
look alikeness to Steve Carroll of 40 year old virgin. Of all people
at Facebook, Owen was probably most distraught about my
departure, because I think it leaves him as the only person at the
company with a little daughter, who on one of her visits really did
tell me what her Daddy’s does: he doesn’t do Aaaanything, he just
talks all the time.
TS was hired in the Fall of 2005 as VP of Product Engineering, i
think. As far as I can tell, every engineer reports directly to him.
Karel Baloun 47
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
So he’s very important and very busy. He started the yahoo
messenger group, and obviously made it very successful. He’s
called TS universally, because I’m one of few people who can
remember Ramakrishnan even though I constantly reverse my own
kids’ names, and because his first name is even longer than
Ramakrishnan. He says he likes his real first name though, as he
spewed it just once during his introduction, and will keep it, since
his parents went through sooo much trouble to create it for him.
At Facebook, I’ve reported to Zuck and TS, all the while doing
most of my work for Dustin, and for Trac, which (once I put in the
notification feature) most politely thanks me for doing such nice
work for it.
Kent Schoen was one of the new engineer types who actually
interviewed at the facebook before I did, but the first time he was
scared away by the graffiti38. I lobbied him daily since he was shy
and playing hard to get, and he joined during the summer, and
soon got himself responsible for all of the advertising technology.
Kent is unique in that he’s a good programmer and even better
technical architect, yet he’s someone you’d like to hang out with.
Yes, he’s a genuine people person, who’s even grown beyond his
habit of calling everyone outside his immediate company “those
clowns”.
48 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
38 Actually, no one was there to talk to him except Matt. The odd thing about that
is that Matt was there. A main reason susie was hired was so that we’d get
organized enough to stop standing up important interview candidates.
Kent’s unusual situation is he likes building advertising
technology to, you know, make money for a company. Zuck only
likes the money that comes from advertising, and he doesn’t even
like the money that much. I think he had to be physically tied up
at some executive meeting to allow that ad on the left side of the
page. Again, Zuck is right in not copying myspace by putting an
ad everywhere (they used to have more, even popups), since
facebook has much more traffic and inventory than they could sell
out. Facebook now serves many billions of pageviews a month. If
it just sold cheap crappy ad network CPM ads (at like $1-$3
CPM39) across all of its inventory, it could earn 10s of millions of
dollars every month. But that would annoy people and Zuck loves
his users. Ow! Zuck just mentally hit me. I meant his “student
community on the site”. Kent likes to be creative. So they are a
good match, whenever Zuck, TS or a product person stops for
even a second to think about ads.
Shoot, all of this reminds me that I never sent a “bye” email when I
left. “At least I know we’ll always know how to stay in touch.
Thanks for reminding me what it’s like to be young and in love.”
If you get holiday cards from me, know that they come in the
Spring.
How did we all work together? Not in meetings, which are rare
and often spontaneous, in line with a new industry trend against
Karel Baloun 49
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
39 Possibly, myspace can only get 10 cents; that’s not the only thing wrong with
them. I don’t know facebook’s real CPM, and if I did they’d have to shoot me.
meetings.40 I liked meetings more than everyone else, because I
wanted more architecture and planned collaboration. Everyone
else seemed to prefer autonomy and quick code iterations. Code
reviews were on and off required, and whenever they were done,
were worth their weight in gold41.
Facebook photos is the best model for how major applications are
built.
1. Find a genius engineer who will forego eating and sleeping for
2 months.
2. Give him the vision.
3. Give him a designer, so that a) he doesn’t need to think about
how the pages look and instead can focus on function, and b)
he immediately knows what the pages will be and how they
will work.
4. Get out of the way. Talking to you could make him sleepy or
hungry.
5. When it is done, bless it and say it is exactly what you wanted.
50 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
40 “Meetings are Toxic”, Getting Real, http://getreal.37signals.com
41 remember nobody ever prints anything. but they were still precious, since this
was the only opportunity besides bug fixing to look at anyone else’s code.
however, quick iterations on own code, ambitious time targets, and heavy scope
creep (since real specs were almost never made), meant little time for reviews or
design. In Japan, there was little urban planning, so the streets look like cracks
in pottery, while Paris or American cities has a solid grid framework. Facebook
code architecture is certainly on the organic growth side of that dichotomy.
Keys:
• Don’t change your vision.
• Make sure he’s a genius before starting, by testing on smaller
projects.
• Ensure the designer stays ahead of the functionality, since this
is the engineer’s umbilical cord to reality.
Photos also had very effective prodoug management, which
ensured that the features where clearly defined, and worked with
everything else that was happening around the company.
Noah, who is much too shy, humble and self-effacing42 to
mention any awards he has himself won, did in fact claim a prize
in this slide presentation. I simply won “most likely to sleep
under his desk overnight”, sharing the prize with Nick Heyman,
since both of us actually were photographed doing just that
during one of our work marathons. Noah, on the other hand,
picked up the prestigious “most likely to invite someone for
lunch” award, and the slide was graced with a smiling picture of
the man, with an added caption like “hey, i don’t know you, but
did you know that Facebook has a free lunch? you should come
check it out.” Just between you and me, Noah did in fact earn this
Karel Baloun 51
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
42 as you can see by looking at his site, okdork.com.
award, by bringing through a parade of the best looking43 girls
seen in the building.

Facebook’s Beginning

Facebook’s Beginning
The elite hacker stalks briskly through the cold evening air,
cradling a laptop, he bolts through the closing door into yet
another Harvard dorm building. He’s determined to overcome the
IP based security scheme which limits access to student’s personal
information by dorm. Blocking the flow of information is wrong,
instinct and the most powerful conviction scream within him.
Karel Baloun 35
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
31 Whenever I feel Old I run a marathon. It’s worked for me so far.
Scanning the walls, he spots his opening, the ethernet port with
an address inside of this dorm. Plugging in, he quickly grabs the
pictures and profile of all the residents. And moves on the the
next target. By day’s end, he’s ripped into his laptop enough
information to build interesting profiles for everyone at Harvard, a
Mark Zuckerberg Production, a gift to the Harvard community.
In late October, 2003, Facemash.com lit up Harvard. At random,
two matched pictures of Harvard students would appear, for a
basic hot or not comparison. The site only lasted a day or so
while pulling down 22000 hits from 450 people, so already the
seeds of Facebook were planted. Zuck apologized, and said his
“primary concern is hurting people’s feelings. I’m not willing to
risk insulting anyone.” as well as “I’m a programmer and I’m
interested in the algorithms and math behind it”.
The Harvard administration specified what privacy rules were
unacceptable, and in showing that a site like facebook could
overcome those complaints, he managed to create a site private
and safe enough that students could trust it. Over several days he
codes the initial version of thefacebook.com, powered by a
beverage-not-to-be-named32 and probably fun adrenaline.
Initially released on February 4th, 2004, thefacebook included the
essential picture, the list of personal attributes on the right, and a
list of friends. Notably, the item most interesting to his college
36 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
32 not coffee. don’t even think to bring the smell of the brew into the same room
as him.
audience, sex, is front and center: “looking for” and “relationship
status” to show what kind of relationship is available, and
“interested in” to confirm that it could be you. An early easter egg
enabled someone to message “sex?” from a mobile phone and if
yes, the reply would be the partner’s room number. Pretty hot,
huh!?
It worked. Harvard was hooked in weeks: In the first three weeks,
over 6,000 Harvard students joined. The earliest wayback
machine page from Feb 12, 2004 shows the original front page,
Harvard only33.
Facemash.com was repurposed around this time to show your
“Buddy Zoo”. Here’s how it worked, in the actual words of the site
on Feb 6, 2004. You can see how this foreshadows some of what
Facebook would become.
“Users submit their AIM Buddy Lists to the site. Then,
BuddyZoo runs all kinds of analysis on the data, letting
you:
* Find out which buddies you have in common with
your friends.
* Measure how popular you are.
* Detect cliques you're part of.
* See a visualization of your Buddy List.
* View your Prestige, computed the way Google
computes PageRank to rank web pages.
Karel Baloun 37
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
33 Facebook.com doesn’t have good coverage on the wayback machine, and
myspace.com blocks all (honest, well behaved) crawlers so has no coverage at all.
You can see how the site looked back until March ’05 under thefacebook.com’s
entries.
* See the degrees of separation between different
screennames.
* More features are still on the way. Check back in a
few days. “
Over the summer of 2004, Zuck and Dustin made the trek out
West, since here, in Silicon Valley between IBM, Cisco, Apple,
Stanford, Berkeley, Yahoo and Google34, is where everything hot
on the Internet happens. Facebook was already clearly going to
become big, since it had exploded across every Ivy league school
where it had been introduced, up to 2 million members. So Zuck
wanted investment and connections.
At this time Facebook was running on Zuck’s personal savings,
which he’d accumulated from doing various computer related jobs
since before high school35. Right when it wasn’t clear how the
bandwidth bill would be covered, Peter Thiel, founder of Paypal,
early investor in LinkedIn and fierce Libertarian, came in with a
saving angel investment, which he has said is the best investment
at current valuations he ever made. Perhaps he feels that way
because once, on his birthday, the facebook leaders arranged for
38 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
34 and my house and the hospital where i was born. three cheers for hometown
pride. I know that the Valley has more and more offshore competition, and that
many other tech hubs exist in America, and that centralization is decreasingly
necessary. I like Oregon.
35 Eduardo Saverin, a wealthy Brazilian student friend, put in a significant amount
of capital, but was soon removed, perhaps for not contributing in a working
capacity, as well as possibly for using the site traffic for his own side business
ends. Startups can have all kinds of convulsions in early stages.
him to receive hundreds of pokes and messages from beautiful
girls.
So how did Zuck and Sean meet, since this meeting was so
important to the future of Facebook? Which brilliant networked
headhunter set that up? In what fancy restaurant did they first
sketch their plans on a fine napkin and toast their success? Once
or twice they made actual plans to meet, back in Boston I think,
but those somehow fell through.
Sean met Zuck on the street in Palo Alto, in front of the rented
house he was sharing, completely by chance. Since Sean had no
clear place to stay at the time, Zuck let him crash at the house,
and as they talked their plan emerged. That management
recruiting strategy was not repeated. Perhaps this is why Zuck
and Sean could possibly think that a wooden chef outside the
office door could bring in a VP of Engineering.
Additional rounds of funding totaling over $35 million from Accel,
Greylock and Meritech Capital have ensured that Facebook has
sufficient cash for any existing plans and contingencies, and since
Facebook was clearly successful and more or less profitable, it
was in the drivers seat of all financing negotiations. Usually VC
get special protections on their capital and the company often
experiences heavy dilution, but not when multiple VCs are
competing to get in on the deal. The very evening Zuck closed
the initial funding round of $11 million dollars, and may have
even had the check on him as he was going to some fast food
joint in East Palo Alto, he was held up at gun point. The most
Karel Baloun 39
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
exhilarating and terrifying moments in his life happened within
hours of each other.
One important money saving characteristic of Facebook, through
some unknown combination of Zuck, Dustin and the other senior
executives, is that the leadership team knows when to pull the
plug on efforts that don’t fit the vision, and prunes the tree of
employees to ensure best allocation of resources. Even when
someone is good, I’ve seen a replacement part be tried out to see
if it would work better. While Noah, I and others could be seen as
personal casualties of this reality, this policy is best for both us
and for the company, as long as it affects so few people that the
ones remaining don’t think about it. In one all-hands meeting I
recall Zuck saying something like that anything less than full
commitment and dedication saps the focus and strength of
others. Plenty of misunderstandings may have happened, and led
to excellent, dedicated people being let off the train, but not
letting anyone go would be a bad company policy, which should
be firm against people just holding on for the ride. A company
vision is only as strong as the shared vision of the employees, and
any voices, or even thoughts, that don’t resonate with the leaders
really weaken the company.
Some companies lack a vision: even while the executives parade
out one vision after another, the employees just go about their
day without thinking about it or understanding it. Such
companies need visionary thinkers, creative minds AND need to
40 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
liberate these minds to do their magic, or inevitably the company
will not benefit and possibly those minds will be lost.
Facebook, on the other hand, has a very clear, powerful vision,
and since most employees come at it from the same place,
college, it comes as naturally as breathing air to them. I
personally think it would come naturally to a wider variety of
people, but I see needless risk to Zuck in testing out such a
theory. Until such a time that need variety around him to test out
and expand his vision.
Few hugely successful sites are created by a technologist, who
handles both the Product and Engineering. Zuck is one of those
rare talents who can do both, and he succeeded because he chose
a manageable problem, right in the center of his experience and
competency. He knew what he could do, and knew his own limits
well enough to find all of the right people to cover for him in
those areas. No one can do everything, or even be really good at
many things, so Zuck’s talent was to push his full ability on a
small but important problem, that he could solve by himself. Or
more precisely, if there were about 5 or 10 of himselves. He had
too much to do, but he could fully understand all aspects of what
he needed to do, right up to the point where he was objectively
very successful.
Zuck also successfully recognizes what he doesn’t know, and
finds the right person to tell him. He wastes no time with fools,
and can drill right to the point so fast it can hurt, but he listens
very well and is always learning. Zuck also keeps things simple.
Karel Baloun 41
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
When he does present at an all hands, usually there are like 2-5
totally simple slides, like a single bullet point (company goal:
grow site usage) or a two color pie chart (something i can’t tell
you about myspace). This really helps with the uniform,
understandable vision thing. On the other hand, I don’t know
how many diverse opinions Zuck hears, and I don’t know how
many in the company get to talk with him regularly. I don’t think
he had any takers when he introduced CEO office hours.
Google is notoriously engineer driven, and the business plan came
late, because VC were comfortable funding the people behind the
technology, and those people were able to build an excellent
search engine, and grow their leadership skills faster even than
they grew their company. Ebay’s creator Pierre Omidyar built the
first generation technology himself, but was quick to partner with
MBA holding friends to run the business parts of the company. He
continued to phase himself out, whenever he found people who
could do what he does as well as him. Finally he was just the soul
of the company, ensuring that is was consistent with his values
and core vision.
The Google founders acknowledged some limitations by hiring
Eric Schmidt as a super experienced CEO to be the prominent
adult in the room, but they still maintain a 2 to 1 majority in their
unique executive triumvirate. Noam Wasserman conducted
extensive research where he concludes that startup founders end
up either as kings OR rich, but rarely both. He notes that Gates
42 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.

How to build a site without any tools or controls

How to build a site without any tools or
controls
Product engineering at the first office was an extremely simple
process, and the few all engineering meetings we had (a dozen
people in the small conference room) were focused on keeping
development fast and flexible. There existed the all important
server “maverick”, and
• Developers all logged in as root to change code, directly used to
serve the Harvard site.
• Occasionally we broke it.
• But immediately fixed it.
• A push script which would copy the Harvard program files to all
of the other schools.
At this time the site had over 2.5 million members, and well over
a billion pageviews a month. Yet, there was no source control and
code changes were all made as root. That was ok as long as
Dustin was making most of the changes. Actually, Dustin
continued making most of the changes for a long, long time.
Nick’s first major Ops new hire Dan Neff, who also cooks
awesome BBQ and set the Facebook commute record by driving
Karel Baloun 31
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
almost 2 hours from out past Gilroy, within a few weeks put in
subversion source control, trac for documentation, and a custom
browser-based push script.
This direct development system worked amazingly well, even up
to a half a dozen engineers, up until the first complete revamp of
the site, project Facelift, which required source control for
coordination among every new, old and temporary engineer.
These months I was feeling Experienced. Issues would arise for
which I had the answers, because the site was still comparable in
size to others I’d worked on, and actual internet application
experience was a rare commodity in the building. Jeff Rothschild
(founder of Veritas, technical guru) came on shortly after I did,
and very soon he was having all of the answers. Jeff’s arrival
made it clear Facebook could not fail, and I loved working for
someone as technically talented.
I mapped out the first system diagrams and planned a major
architectural redesign for PHP5. Around four months in, Zuck
gave my favorite engineering roadmap presentation, in which he
assigned me to about half of the site’s code base and features,
and after the meeting he walked directly to me and kindly asked
whether he had given enough attention to my items. That’s Zuck,
always concerned that everyone who is working, and is important
to him, is happy. I was managing a team of over half a dozen
engineers building a very valuable product, and in love and
delighted. Then and now I acknowledged that this was one of the
best work times of my life; my gratitude magnified my joyfulness.
32 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
If you ever find yourself this happy, note and remember, this sign
that you should find more ways to live your life this way.
After serious internal deliberation, I championed upgrade to
PHP5.1, to which we were the first large site to migrate. We may
have been the most heavily trafficked php site at the time. We
upgraded right after the first official release, and worked to fix
performance problems with the core APC team29. Facebook was
like that - we were afraid of nothing, as we tried to get the best
technology and pull in the best people, for we knew we could find
the brains to fix anything that happened.
Hiring was a perpetual challenge. Before I arrived a mostly
symbolic recruiting tactic involved parking a huge wooden italian
chef outside of the office door, and while usually he was expected
to hold some restaurants pizza menu, he showcased our current
open positions, with VP of engineering at the top. I was involved
in most engineering hires at this time, and while my main concern
was whether the candidate could do an excellent job on the set of
projects I knew were upcoming, Zuck, Scott and others wanted
simply brilliant geniuses who could learn to do whatever we
needed, now or later. It takes longer to find geniuses, but I must
say, drawing on the 8 million college student pool of users,
eventually the company succeeded. While I suppose
subconsciously I was looking for more engineers like myself, the
Karel Baloun 33
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
29 Alternate Php Cache. The standard, not alternate, way of making Php
applications scale and run fast.
company explicitly and correctly decided that Scott was the
correct model engineer.
Like Google, Facebook wanted super smart engineers who could
own a project and deliver amazing technology, though unlike
Google, Facebook gives more weight to sheer intellectual
brilliance than experience or demonstrated ability to deliver a
great product, which selects towards younger engineers. Also
Google tends to hire known experts in specific areas, while
Facebook encouraged engineers to be generalists30.
Nevertheless, even with our reputation and ability to pay top
dollar in the heart of Silicon Valley, it still took tremendous time,
effort and dedicated recruiters to build out the team.
One hiring story showcases Zuck’s tremendous integrity. Randi,
his sister, now works at Facebook, and her interview happened
right next to me, since that was where two open chairs sat, on one
of those very late work nights. He gave her nothing that everyone
else didn’t have, and insisted on her having a strictly market
based salary, repeating that nepotism was something he wouldn’t
accept. My easy role was convincing her he was being fair, and
not just playing out some childhood revenge fantasy.
The engineering culture evolved away from having any architects
or managers, as all of the engineers where brilliant, motivated,
34 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
30 Well, Google also hires brilliant generalists. Google hires anyone brilliant, and
I’ve heard of a secret plan to build an underground tunnel from the Stanford
graduation to the Googleplex.
and sharp enough on all product details to not need formal
management. Much later as I approached my one year
anniversary departure from Facebook, I started feeling Old.31 But
only in relative terms, since everyone around me was so young,
inspired and brilliant. In absolute terms, I only felt that when I
started getting sleepy around midnight, and if my back hurt after
sleeping on the couch.
That’s my beginning at Facebook, and while it was a genuine
silicon valley early startup experience, an even earlier story awaits
telling. I came when Facebook was already a big deal for college
students, and when there was plenty of cash to have an office and
hire a full engineering team. But as you know, Facebook started
in a Harvard dorm room, on one server with no cash or few
expectations of greatness.

You, yes you, really can achieve anything

You, yes you, really can achieve anything
One individual can have tremendous impact. And that can be
anyone, whether they have technical skill, business savvy or some
combination. Especially you. Wherever and whoever you are.
“Alright Karel, so why aren’t you Zuck? Why aren’t you a
billionaire, you lame hypocrite.” Ow! Could you please think that
more quietly? Well. I did lack talent in key areas, and I didn’t
have an internet growing up, but most significantly, I never
dreamed of becoming a CEO at 21. I dreamed about becoming an
author once I’d collected some experiences. And only lately am I
learning the art of practical dreaming, where I actually find steps
to take towards my dreams.22
Building a website is easier than ever, the barriers have come way
down. Facebook was Zuck’s third or fourth website attempt as
you’ll read below, and my Facebook product friend Noah has built
a few websites, and I have one out and a few in the works. Seems
26 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
21 Noah: “I honestly don’t like this part. No one cares about your opinion yet. Save
this section for a second book once you have credibility. I feel this is boring and
not entirely true.” Karel: Well, Noah, thank you. Talk to the hand. Did you buy
this book? I didn’t think so. Let me ask the people who matter.
22 Now my dream is to rebuild society on equitable and ecologically sound
foundations, so global peace and cultural diversity blossom. I’ll get back to you in
10 years on that one.
like everyone has their own blog, and content management
systems like Joomla, Mambo, Postnuke, Plone and others or
hosted site creation systems like Ning, make even more complex
sites not so hard. Ruby on Rails and PHP are much easier to learn
and prototype quickly than Java/JSP or Perl/ModPerl/Mason.
Bandwidth and hosting are cheap, easily under $50/month. A
technically savvy kid could put together a nice website in days or
weeks, and a software engineer or two can build a complex site in
a few months.
So anyone and their cousin seems to be building a site, which they
say is a web 2.0 social site, because that’s what’s hot today.
Seven years ago everyone was building a portal for this or that
audience. Two years ago everyone had a blog with a twist. Now
even magazines and stores want their own “social network”,
because frankly, who wouldn’t want to have and operate a
growing social network!
If you want to build your own startup, it comes down to having a
powerful idea, and building it out to completing, and marketing it
right23. None of these are easy. Building it out as a prototype is
easier than choosing the right idea to build out, especially if the
idea is simple enough. As the web matures though, while the
tools get better, the good ideas that haven’t already been done
get progressively harder. Building it right, so that it runs fast,
Karel Baloun 27
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
23 Noah: More important than the idea is having execution. I can’t even count how
many ideas I have heard from friends, but I can count how many have done them.
Zero.
doesn’t lose data and scales to millions of users, is still hard, but
that type of good engineering is easier to buy if the site concept is
proven to work.
To find an idea, Noah suggests to think about something people
do 30 minutes a day that frustrates them and see if you can
automate that or do something that cuts the time in half for them.
What other mind games can we think of to identify easily doable
services that would save people a lot of time or effort?
Perhaps the most difficult choice for an entrepreneur to make is
when to give up on an idea which is failing. Lets say you are
running with a startup idea that hits a big roadblock, like no one
coming to your completed site no matter what you try to do, and
another exciting idea comes teasing you from another friend, or
another corner of your brain, or from second position on your
own list of exciting ideas to try. I’d bet you that too many
people24 give up too soon, so once you commit to an idea25, force
onto yourself a list of actions you promise to complete before
giving up, and just go through them, satisfied simply that you are
taking actions, thereby forcing yourself though the inevitable
setbacks and challenges that make startups worthwhile. Fold only
once you’ve kept all of the promises you made to yourself, and
28 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
24 most notably to myself are the people named me, myself and I
25 so analyze whether the idea is worthwhile before you commit to it. this book is
taking a ton of time to write, time which my wife and children would just love to
have, and gee right now i feel i’d love to give it to them instead, but instead I’ve
committed myself to finishing it. and only you, my dear reader, can judge whether
it was worthwhile.
convinced yourself that you idea was really not good. Remember
you’ll want to apologize to everyone who gifted their time, money
and energy to your cause.26 If it were psychologically easy to force
yourself though rejections and setbacks, everyone would be an
internet millionaire.
How do you successfully build a site in a garage or dorm room?
Take the most simple part of your idea, and prototype it as
quickly as possible. Then show it to your intended audience and
see if it sticks. Don’t just listen to feedback, watch what people
actually do. Watch how passionately they use it, to see whether it
is really solving the problem you intended for your audience.
Odds are it won’t on the first pass, so do not just give up on your
original idea to solve another problem for the same audience.
Can you find a more appropriate audience? Actively modify your
site until it works to do what you intended, and monitor what
works27. Beyond the numbers, look at your key relationships with
your core users and business or technology partners: are your
most important people getting more excited and passionate? Are
Karel Baloun 29
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
26 Those who care about you or will continue to be important to you will forgive
you. If you gave it your all, you must have learned enough to make everything
worthwhile, to all of you. Your next idea won’t be any easier to complete, but you
will have successfully struck out once. The number of times you get knocked
down doesn’t count, only the number of times you stand up. A young guy goes up
to a business guru and asks, “How can I become like you?” The wise man answers
“Make right decisions.” “Oh wise guru, how do i do that?” “By making wrong
decisions.”
27 you must track usage and use patterns, otherwise you are flying completely
blind. you can write your own code for this as Facebook did, or use on of any
number of services: statcounter, urchin/google, coremetrics, onestat, etc.
you building enough of the right relationships to get your ball
rolling? Remember the rock to which you are clinging is your
original vision, and keep your passion on that.
Lastly, how do you define “a successful website”? Is it simply
becoming widely used and very popular, ideally with only a
small investment of your life-span, like digg.com being 24th on
the alexa list of US sites by popularity, about a year and a half
after initial launch? Is it being tremendously rich and profitable,
like Micro$oft, Dell or Walmart28, all the while telling yourself that
this is because you produce excellent products at an amazing
value? Quickly transforming yourself into a free market liberal
economist, you’d argue that the market has correctly estimated
your value, and your profits are simply a reflection of how much
more valuable you are to your customers than the competition,
because if the competition were as good as you, you’d need to
lower your price and profit. Sure, and Bill Gates is also the Easter
Bunny. Is it some combination of popularity and real user value,
estimated in some highly qualitative fashion from how much you
mean to users and how much they love you? Wikipedia and Ebay
probably score high here, among their large and loyal user base.
Or is it something else? Perhaps just a feeling that you’ve done
well? Empowering others to be more than they thought possible?
How about making a small group of your friends happy, or even
just getting your creative ideas out?
30 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
28 Mallwart gets cheap prices by lowering wages here and throughout the world,
while occupying 4 spots on the Forbes billionaire top 20.
Pardon me? Oh! all right. Here’s more about how Facebook
accomplished creating their site.

How you can find Your startup dream

How you can find Your startup dream
To be in your own wildly successful startup, you either need to
build it, or find the right one in its infancy.
Finding one, the right startup, requires judgement and luck.
Obviously I had luck since Facebook contacted me, but luck favors
the prepared, as I was a heavy user of LinkedIn. The judgement
part was easy for me, since Facebook was hot at so many
colleges, it was obvious that it would win at all colleges. May you
have it so easy.
Here are some key ideas:
• Everyone at Facebook before me knew Zuck well. So, stick with
your brilliant friends, and encourage them to succeed!
• Since you can only attend to a finite number of brilliant friends,
choose wisely. If someone you know has what looks to you like
a powerful idea, figure out how you can help drive it forward, in
whatever amount of time and energy you can contribute.
• Once you are engaged and things are looking good, become
indispensable. The founder most needs completely trustworthy,
effective implementers, who can read his mind from knowing
him so well. So much work needs doing to push out a new
22 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
company, whichever of the founders’ thoughts you can do well
is precious. Your own thoughts about what the company should
do are probably just a distraction.
• Be flexible, become good at whatever it is that needs doing
most. Young people are absolutely best at this; it could be your
unique advantage.19 Dustin was Zuck’s most trusted right-hand
man from the first dorm room days, and he grew the site to all
colleges, learning everything necessary to scale the site as he
went along, learning programming and technology from scratch.
• Do. It. Don’t talk or question. Do. A startup needs too much
done too fast, in whatever way.
So which one of the hundreds of ideas your dozens of friends
generate is the next billion dollar company? The first test is
passion. Your friend will become convinced that this is big, and
will be putting all of their life energy into it, or related parts of it.
Zuck actually came to Palo Alto to breathe big life into his
wirehog, a network file sharing system, but was still intensely
passionate about Facebook, so even if you had tagged along for
wirehog, you’d still end up on a winning product.
Karel Baloun 23
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
19 we old guys are screwed. seriously, only ones eager to adapt will get back in.
perhaps this makes us more likely to choose the “build it” rather than “join it”
option, but i haven’t seen evidence that we are more likely to succeed at building
it. if anything, i’d guess that success is correlated to the number of well
attempted failures, and even 30-somethings who’ve lived in a corporations for
many, many years may not have attempted any. Paul Graham, quotes Zod Nazem,
in charge of yahoo engineering, who says he’d rather hire someone who’s tried
their own startup and failed than a corporate engineering worker bee.
The second test is big vision in a few small steps: an idea has to
become a big deal, without very much time or work. Even complex
ideas must start as a single, simple project, which can easily be
understood and finished. It is a good sign if the “idea ladder”
from the simple idea to the big vision is well worked out. It is a
bad sign if the leader isn’t clear on what to finish first, or what
“finished” means20.
The third test is the immediate and energetic support of others
who are involved. While some artists are never understood in
their own time, popular websites are usually successful early, and
at least a core of supporters really can understand and share the
vision, like with digg.com or reddit.com. Habitual nay-sayers and
other losers are present everywhere to criticize and tear down
creative ideas, so they can be filtered out and ignored, but
respectable voices who believe in the idea should be involved,
enough to participate in some way. The idea leader may have
trouble involving others (everyone is busy) but if you are to be the
very first one partner on an idea, remember that you are probably
not the first person who’s heard the pitch, so think why everyone
else wasn’t excited. Facebook was so popular at Harvard right
from the first day, its success was evident immediately - it was
providing information available nowhere else, and would never be
on google or wikipedia. Some successful sites such as Ebay need
24 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
20 Noah: I disagree. If you created Google, could you explain it from the beginning
before searching became the norm? I think the idea is more about creating
something that is truly unique and immediately useful.
time or product changes to get big, but you can usually wait until
immediately after that corner is turned to pour in your energy.
The fourth test is low user churn and increasing usage per
user: whether users of the site tend to become more involved and
more attached to the site over time, or whether they drift off. If
existing users love the site, then it is likely that if money or
energy are spent in telling other to use the site, it will work.
Facebook has about two-thirds of its members returning every
day, a startling statistic which was true from inception.
Findarticles.com, a useful content site where millions of
subscription magazine articles are available for free, seems like an
amazing idea, but it immediately leaks away a vast majority of its
search engine referred users. If you consider participating on a
site with high churn, figure out how to solve that problem first, or
keep active on other ideas until it is solved.
Some other factors you can more or less ignore. Facebook was
financially stable already when I arrived, but whether the site is
making money or not only matters relative to how long the site
can continue to exist at its current level of spending. So if you
want to join a startup, go to a place where there are a lot of them,
and get to know - and know well - the people who are making
them, while looking for the big winner, or while making your own
Karel Baloun 25
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
on the side. Strategic thinking like this will increase your chances
of finding the next Facebook size opportunity21.

Work in Facebook’s First Office

Work in Facebook’s First Office
In a plain white building above a Chinese restaurant, was a
smallish space, with 3 small doored offices, and 3 smaller storage
rooms that worked as close-able offices, and maybe a 20 by 35
foot room with a table taking up most of it that could function as
a conference room. These all surrounded a central open area
(maybe 40 ft by 100 ft), about a quarter of which was a makeshift
reception area, and the rest was... everything. In that space, in
which a person could not walk more than 10 steps without hitting
a wall, about a dozen people worked.
The key principle that made this possible was that no one had any
of “their own” space, except the few people enshrined in offices:
Sean the President, the summer interns, and Operations in the
persons of Taner H15 and Nick Heyman. Zuck would come in, see
16 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
14 Noah: Right above the bead shop which is a great place to meet women and
across from the delicious Miyake. Karel: Noah doesn’t know Japanese food. But
that’s okay, I don’t know women. Go to Sushi Ya, a few blocks down on the right.
15 Halicioglu. Over 12 months, I never spelled it right, and just now cribbed it
from my Facebook friends list. He understands server hardware and operations
troubleshooting better than anyone I know.
every chair full and just lie down on the thin carpet, on his belly,
sandals flapping, and start typing into his little white mac ibook.
Each of the two small tables had four nice 24” LCD monitors that
pointed outward to form a square in the middle of the table,
leaving space for 4 keyboards facing each chair and not much
else. The center behind the monitors was a garbage can. Or the
place where very important papers were collected from around the
office and gently deposited. I’m not sure which. Along with food
wrappers and empty cans, I’d find my notes and important mail
for Zuck. My first hint to evolve beyond trying to keep paper
notes.
Karel Baloun 17
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
Notice anything else quite interesting in this picture of me from
that time? It’s obviously nothing about me. Nice paint in the
background, eh? Just about every wall was painted with blueishmetallic
graffiti. From the well endowed lady on the cow (i think)
in the entry stairwell, to something that needed to be painted over
in the ladies room before I ever saw it, and before we hired some
ladies. You can also see the nice chair that we assembled
ourselves, and some typical computer clutter on the ground.
I had been on a linux desktop for 5 years, but switched to a nice
OS X laptop, and the company is divided about half and half
between PC and Mac laptops. McCollum had a desktop tower at
the beginning; I don’t know why. Maybe to secure his physical
space in the open office! At the beginning there weren’t enough
chairs, so it was better to get in early in the day. Once the nice
chairs arrived, just like at early Ebay, we all assembled our own
chairs. Of course there were no phones. There are still no
personal land line phones. We used IM heavily and some email,
though most communication was done just by being in the same
place, especially at night.
The huge refrigerator was kept full by shopping trips to Safeway
by one of the office helpers16 or even by Zuck’s very nice
girlfriend at the time. It was loaded with various cool caffeinated
drinks, and commenced my 9 month addiction, finally broken, to
18 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
16 All really nice girls like Jennifer (whose profile i can’t find, since we no longer
share a network, see there are limits) and Krysia.
those small Starbucks bottled coffee drinks.17 I myself made one
run, to the nearby Whole Foods to create a Tea Bar, which
remained quite consistently untouched. The Odwallas I bought
though were drunk in hours, but they exceeded even the
generosity of the pre-office-manager Facebook.
Unfortunately there was only one couch at the time, and besides
being well used at night, it was also in the game room, where
especially late at night a few engineers could be found playing on
the Xbox console. I was also woken one night by Sean around
4am, asking whether I could drive him home (to the place he
shared with Zuck and Dustin, whose pre-VC car I also once
jumped). I don’t remember why, but I think his car got
impounded, since he couldn’t organize both a license and
insurance at the same time, even with an assistant’s help. Sean is
like that - extremely valuable as a visionary, idea driver,
cheerleader; he gave Facebook much credibility at a time when the
company maybe couldn’t have continued without him, but he’s
even more scattered on practical matters than me, which says a
lot.
Through the couch room, one could get to another essential work
area of the early office: the roof. Stepping up on a table, and
sliding out a tall, thin window, we could enjoy about 300 square
gravelly feet of fresh air, equipped with an handful of laid back,
wood and cloth pool chairs. Of course, we had wireless internet,
Karel Baloun 19
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
17 Broken by the best tasting hot chocolate in the bay area. I replaced it with an
addiction to the finest Venezuelan Abuelo.
so could take our laptops anywhere we want. It was a beautiful
California early summer - bright, blue yet not hotter than
comfortable. A powerbook give just enough backlight to function
with sunglasses. And the roof was the only place to make a
phone call without bothering every engineer, so I did many
interview telephone screens out there, or on my daily commute on
my cell phone.18 One day Zuck fell asleep out there and came in a
few hours later with an impressive sun burn. Ezra, the original
product manager, who still may possibly one day stop requesting
deferrals and actually go to law school, also loved to work out
there, developing the finest tan.
Within my first month, the atmosphere of the office was
dramatically upgraded with the hire of Susie, who somehow got
everything organized, and has been a stable rock in every stage of
the company’s growth.
Around the end of May 2005, Zuck painted the word “Forsan” on
his room wall in huge font, and used this as his facebook picture
for a few days. It comes from Virgil’s Aeneid as “Forsan et haec
olim meminisse iuvabit” which can be loosely translated as
“Perhaps, one day, even this will seem pleasant to remember”.
Zuck has a flair for personal dramatics, mimicking the pose of the
statue in front of Father Junipero Serra, and connecting his launch
into the social networking space to the launch of Virgil’s voyage.
20 Inside Facebook
Copyright, Karel Baloun, 2006. All rights reserved.
18 My commute was 60-90 minutes, each way. That’s long even for the bay area
and genuinely reflected my enthusiasm for the opportunity.
The first day I walked into the office, I saw Zuck and Sean together
for the first time. Zuck was wearing his Apollo shirt, a low key
basketball jersey like t-shirt, with the name Apollo on the back,
with a large number 1. In the bright summer sunshine both men
had golden locks of curls, and the thought quickly swam through
my head that, in appearance and confidence only, they did look
like Greek god prototypes, like the statues I saw when I toured the
Parthenon.
Zuck also has fun with his position. Jerry Yang labeled himself
Chief Yahoo. Zuck had two sets of business cards made: on one
he was “CEO” and on the other he was “I’m the CEO.... bitch!”. By
the way, did you know that it is possible to decorate a birthday
Karel Baloun 21
I’ve found something to put here. Your turn.
cake with a perfectly printed web page? Zuck found this out on
his last birthday at an all hands party.

First, a note on why Facebook is awesome for gaming women:

First, a note on why Facebook is awesome for gaming women:
I'm often asked where I find high quality women, because it seems like most of
the smart, loyal chicks who have anything going for them are not at the local pub
getting wasted and hooking up with strangers on a Thursday night. Trust me, I
agree and I feel your pain.
One of the answers to this eternal question, (besides old staples like Starbucks,
book stores and dog parks) is Facebook.
Simply, Facebook is the best wingman you'll ever have. I've gotten more girls via
Facebook in the past three months than I ever had in three years of going to bars
and clubs.
Here's why Facebook is such a good tool for pick-up artists like yourself:
First of all, nearly every girl you want to date is on Facebook, so the selection is
practically unlimited. In fact, there’s way more diversity on Facebook than at the
local disco.
Second, most women love Facebook and check their profiles at least once a day
hoping that guy of their dreams has sent them a charming private message (not
a poke).
The third advantage is that there's little risk of hurt feelings because it’s much
3
easier to deal with digital rejection via Facebook than it is real life.
Forth, on Facebook you have the ability prescript your questions and answers so
that you can get a girl in bed without the difficulties associated with being
spontaneous, funny and attractive to a stranger in real life.
The focus of this guide is on the girls who aren't out at bars or clubs. If you want
those girls, by all means, go to bars and clubs and meet them. But, this guide is
more focused on trying to get that super awesome, high quality chick (think
brains and tits) that is worthy enough to be long-term girlfriend material.
So without further ado, here's how I’ve managed to pull at least one new date a
week all through Facebook:
Step 1) Get Your Facebook Profile Right
The goal of your profile is to not have anything that would potentially turn off the
women you're trying to get with. This means your profile should highlight the best
parts of your personality and minimize the worst. You're not trying to come off as
the cheesy, pushy player at the club (which can work at the club, just not online).
Instead, think of it as playing hard to get -- you're so cool you don't even care
whether your profile makes you seem like badass or a loser. (Oh the irony,
right?)
4
Your profile should present some of your best, unique qualities- how many
profiles of guys have you seen where its just a long advertisement for their
favorite school's football program? Don't be like those dudes, instead express
yourself uniquely in your own voice. Really list your favorite books, movies, music
and quotes. Don't mail it home, the more you put the better (as it gives you more
chances to click with girls who share the same interests). Just keep it under 15
titles for each field.
Basic Profile Stuff:
Your "Relationship Status" must be set to "Single". Avoid the "It's
Complicated" status at all costs, no girl wants to deal with a crazy-ex.
Your "Looking For" should be set to "Friendship". Setting it to "Random
Play" only can work at getting the sluttier chicks, but if you want to hook up with
quality women, and Facebook is really good at this, then simply set this field to
"Friendship" and be done with it.
Your "About Me" field should have some humor in it. It should convey the
sense that you don't take yourself too seriously but at the same time being true to
yourself. Never put yourself down in any public forum, Facebook included.
5
Resist the temptation to put in things like sex, women, beer pong, thongs, weed,
etc as they all come off as cheesy in their own ways. The frat boys who do this
aren't getting laid via Facebook, I promise. Be sure though to put in a few
intriguing entries, like meditation, poetry, tai chi, psychology, dancing etc -- things
that are unique (and true) about yourself. Its good to once in a while show a
woman that you're deeper than just sports, beer, and sex. This is especially true
for the kinds of girls we are after. See the list of most popular female subjects on
Page 15 of this document for more ideas.
Don't list your cellphone number, it looks desperate and is a major mistake by
most men. Instead, only give your AIM or Gmail account name (if you have one,
if not leave out all contact information altogether). Even consider restricting
access to your profile to only those who are your friends.
Photos- Make sure you're having fun and smiling in most of your photos. Nobody
wants to hang out with the guy who's always somber and depressed. Pictures of
you and your Mom and siblings work great too. Also baby pictures. Women love
baby pictures, so be sure to have at least one up there (you can even use
one as your profile picture for a while if you're so bold). Pictures like these
will generate many comments and wall posts from women and are absolute gold
to have on your profile page. Also pictures of you and your friends from when you
were children work wonders at generating massive amounts of views to your
profile.
6
Feel free to tastefully decorate your profile with Facebook apps and banners --
just be sure you don't turn your Facebook profile into a MySpace page.
Remember that Facebook isn't just used for picking up girls. For example your
Mom probably uses it to check up on you. Employers also use it to get a scoop
on a potential employee before they're hired, so make sure there's nothing on
your profile that's questionable in content (pictures of you doing a keg-stand,
passed out with your shirt off and a dick drawn on your face, or packing the bong
come to mind). In the same vein you should try to avoid expressions like *MOB*
(Money Over Bitches) or other clichéd and potentially offensive sayings and
acronyms. This is huge turn off to most women.
Generally, your profile picture should be you doing something that you
love to do the most. Women are drawn to men of action. So if you like hockey,
there should be a picture of you playing hockey. If you like cars, put a picture of
yourself at the autocross track. If you like partying, put a picture of yourself
partying with friends. A profile picture of you in action, doing what you love to do,
is crucial to establish the fact you have other interests besides bedding beautiful
women.
Step 2) Make Friends
7
In order to gain the "social proof" of being the coolest mother****** in your
network, you have to have lot's of people posting on your wall, preferably hot
girls. For this method to work effectively it’s a must that you have at least some
girls writing on your wall every week or so. Remember that perception is often
just as good as reality, as in the case of Facebook.
Now you're probably thinking, no shit Sherlock, of course I want hot girls posting
on my wall! How the hell do I get them to do that?
Good question:
First, you gotta befriend as many people as possible so you have as large a
network as possible. When you meet someone new, in real life, find them on
Facebook that same night and send a friend request. This is how you build a
network of a couple thousand people in just a few weeks.
In order to be successful at gaming women on Facebook, you have to constantly
be seeking out more friends in real life. Remain diligent in this effort, and the
rewards will pay off in spades a month or two later, trust me.
Trying to game complete strangers is almost always a waste of time and hardly
ever worth the massive sustained effort it takes. That's why is much easier to be
the cool guy with a large network of gorgeous babes than it is the player who's
8
burned all his bridges by hitting on every girl in his network. Don't get numbers
anymore, get names (which is way easier). Don't seek to pick-up girls, seek to
become their Facebook friends. Why?
Allow me to explain this point via example. Say, you're in the super market and
you're standing in front of the apples in the produce section. Next to you just
happens to be a ridiculously attractive woman. The conversation goes like this:
Hero: [turning your head but not your body toward the target] Do you know how
you're supposed to tell if an apple is ripe or not? I'm standing here squeezing
apples but I have no idea if I want the squishy ones of the firm ones. Do you
know??
Her: [laugh] Ummmm. I really don't have any idea.
Hero: Great we're both picking out apples and we have absolutely no idea what
the hell we're doing. [pause] I think we should just take a bite out of a couple of
them to test for quality.
Her: [laugh] Okay, you first.
(This is a shit-test because she's wondering if you really have the balls to go
through with your joke and actually bite the apple).
Hero: [taking a huge bite out of an apple and nodding] This is one awesome
apple! Here you have some [trying to give her the bitten apple]
Her: [laughs for real this time] That's okay, thanks. I don’t want your already
bitten apple.
9
Hero: [more serious than before] So are you an apple lover too?
Her: [if she's at all interested in you, she'll agree and start talking here] Oh yeah, I
love apples. My grandmother used to have one every day. In fact... [this goes
one for a minute or three]
Hero: That's awesome! I want to meet your grandma but unfortunately, I gotta jet.
What's your name?
Her: Sarah
Hero: Are you on Facebook, Sarah? [before she can answer] Of course you're on
Facebook, what self-respecting girl isn't on Facebook?? What's your last name?
[as you enter it into your phone] Don’t worry I'm not going to poke you everyday
for the next three months.
She'll be eagerly anticipating your friend request tonight I assure you.
So you just made a potential girlfriend but even more importantly a new
Facebook friend. Here's the next step:
Send her a friend request with a cute confirmation message (ala, You met Sarah
“determining the best kind of apples for her grandmother”). Then do nothing for a
couple days. If she hasn't shown any interest in you already (via a Wall Post or
Poke) then simply leave her a wall post hoping that she's been finding good
apples lately (or whatever you were talking about in your last conversation).
She'll probably return the favor. After a couple weeks of back and forth like this,
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you have two win/win options:
1) If you think you're not in the dreaded "friends zone" and you have really taking
a shining for this girl, casually invite her out to a bar (or whatever you feel
comfortable with) on the following weekend. Say you’re meeting up with some
friends at a popular local bar and she should come down or otherwise you’re
going to label her a Facebook stalker. Ask for her number so that you can text
her the details later.
The goal of chatting on Facebook is to eventually get the girls the number and
talk to her (or text her) over the phone. This step is necessary because most
women are reluctant to see a guy in real life if they’ve only really corresponded
via the internet. This is a necessary psychological boundary you have to
overcome. If you need help with your phone game I’ve included a chapter at the
end of this PDF called “Phone Game 101” take straight from my other, more
complete system entitled, The Badass Guide to Women, Money and Energy
available at http://www.badassification.com/.
2) If you think you're in the "friends zone" or you’re just not interested, don't worry
because this is the fun part. Simply dig through her pictures and find all of her hot
friends. Pick your favorite one. In a private message ask, "Is your friend [name]
single? I saw a couple of pictures of her in one of your albums and I think she's
gorgeous and has a great sense of style." If you get anything besides "she's
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married" as a response, ask her if she can show her gorgeous friend your profile
page sometime, to see if she thinks you're someone she might be into. At this
point, if this girl likes you, she's going to do everything she can to hook her friend
up with you. I want to retract the statement I made earlier- Facebook isn't the
best wingman, a woman is the best wingman.
So to recap, let’s review exactly how the system works:
1) Your objective is to balloon your number of friends by
a. Befriending friends of friends that you’ve already met.
b. Befriending any and every woman you spoke to during that day
2) Once you’ve established a rapport (which usually takes anytime between
one week to several months) with your new Facebook female friends,
casually ask if one of their attractive friends is single.
3) If she is, ask your new Facebook female friend to show her your profile to
see if she’d think you guys would click.
4) If your profile is tight, then she’s going to be all-but forced to agree to a
date.
5) At this point you just start dancing because you’ve realized that you
scored a date with a ridiculous hot chick personally pimped out to you by a
Facebook girl you met two weeks ago. I’m convinced there is no higher
purpose for technology.
This is the only way I pick-up girls now fellas, and its so easy it almost makes me
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feel guilty!
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One of my favorite things in the world to do is to log onto a girlfriend's Facebook
account (with them present, no hax0ring involved I promise) and just see the
private messages they've received from random dudes trying to score with them.
Its just really funny to me to see a) how much women actually do get hit on online
(hot chicks get hit on at least a couple times a week) and b) just how low the bar
is when it comes to internet game.
Here's some real life examples that I've copied and pasted verbatim out of one
girls inbox over the course of a single month:
"HEY GURL WUTS YOUR #???"
"LOOKING HOT HONEY. WHATS YOUR NUMBER, I WANT TO TALK TO U?"
"Wanna come to party in Hollywood tonight? Its gonna be bangin and yr friend
Linda will b there i think"
"I think you're really hawt :D and I wanted to talk to u :-P here’s my number XXXXXXX
call me :) :0"
This stuff is weak and will never, ever work. Unless you’re a seasoned pick up
artist, you’ll almost always come across as creepy by going the direct route.
That's why I recommend making friends first then getting them to hit on girls
for you. Let somebody else hype you up to that hot girl you have your eyes on,
it’s about 1,000% easier than the Mystery Method and requires no memorization.
A word on the poke14
Years ago, when Facebook was less popular than it is day, poking was a
common practice used by guys in order to gauge the interest of a chick. Now it’s
considered kind of pathetic and lame. Please note this change over time. It
makes total sense -- girls want to be swept off their feet, not poked to death. So
the poke is rarely a good idea, especially if you’re trying to initiate the
conversation.
Now say you’ve established somewhat of a rapport with a girl online, but you
haven’t talked to them in about a week because you were busy making new
Facebook friends in real life or what-have-you, its sometimes a good idea to
throw them a poke just to let them know you’re still interested in them. You’d be
amazed at how many girls give up on a guy forever just because he was silent
for a fee weeks.
Facebook is the a worldwide female gossip network-
Know that Facebook is a popular conversation topic among women, and that if
you poke a girl on Facebook her friends are probably going to know about it
within 24 hours. So this information cuts two ways. It’s terrible for you if you come
across as some fakeass rico suave player trying too hard to be the man. But its
great if you have a loyal army of hot girls trying to set you up with their equally
attractive friends.
Step 3) Initiating the Conversation
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More ways to strike up a conversation on Facebook with a stranger if you
absolutely have to:
A complement about a girl's taste in music or film usually works well. Say you just
befriended a "friend of a friend" on Facebook who you think is quite attractive. A
couple days after your friend request has been accepted, write a wall post on her
profile that says something to the effect of, "Hey you're into [insert band X]? I
didn't know [mutual friend's name] was cool enough to know TWO people that
like [band X]!" or “Dude wasn’t [movie title] dope! Nobody likes that movie. In
fact, I wanted to give you props as the first girl I ever to be bold enough to put
that on their Facebook profile. :P”.
Start your own "elite" invitation only Facebook groups. For example, say you and
this girl you're trying to game both really like the old TV show, Fraggle Rock. You
can make a small elite Facebook group called, "Friends of Sprocket" or
"Sprocket's Dream Team" or something equally silly (Sprocket was the name of
the Dog on the show) and invite her to join. Sharing something that you both
enjoy plus the fact that its “by invitation only” is a great way to strength the bond
between you before you actually get her number. Use this one often.
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Common Female Buzzwords / Things That Almost Universally All Young
Women Like To Do And Talk About:
Some of the following keywords should be in your interests as they have a high
opportunity coincide with that Facebook hottie you have your eyes on.
Travel
Art, esp photography
Relationships
Live events (concerts, theaters)
Books
Fitness, esp running
Pets
Fashion
Celebrities
Songs from the 80s
Weddings
Royalty
Cooking
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Phone Game 101 (from the Badassification.com System)
Talking on the phone to a strange woman you met at the bar the night before can
be awkward. Your primary goal is to make the conversation as light and fun as
possible. Your secondary goal is to secure a date. Here are some tips to guide
you along the way:
- Call the night after you get the number. The three day rule was invented by
someone who never got laid.
- Bring up something you were talking about the last time you met. If you met her
at the produce section of the supermarket, talk about how you just found the
perfect watermelon or ask her how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe or not since you
just bought a bad one, or ask her if she's ever eaten something at the
supermarket before she paid for it, etc.
- Have something witty to stay right off the bat. You need to break the ice again.
Just because she liked you enough to give you her number when she was three
drinks deep at Sharkeyz Bar doesn't mean she: a) is single b) actually likes you
(maybe she just wanted to give you her number so you would leave) c) will agree
to a date if you don't keep the conversation interesting on the phone.
- Keep it short, no longer than 15 minutes: "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm
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swamped today."
- Don't leave voicemails. Its hard to not come off sounding needy or insecure on
a voicemail unless your Inner Game is very solid (or you've been in sales for a
while). For now, hang up when you get her machine and call back later. I like
calling between 8 - 9 PM on a weekend or on a Sunday afternoon.
- If a roommate picks up, try talking to them and finding out something about
them (connect with them). It's a lot easier for you to secure a date if her
roommates like you.
- Always assume she remembers you. When she answers the phone, simply say,
"Hey [name], this is [your name]." Wait for her response. If there's a long pause
or if she asks you who you are, say "You don't remember me? I saved your life
from that pack of ninjas last night!" Don't tell her who you are, make her
remember.
- Be standing, smiling and walking when you're on the phone. It boosts your
energy and she will be able to pick up on your good vibe from the other end of
the receiver.
- Leave on a high note if you can. As soon as you set up the date you should
excuse yourself and hang up.
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- Always be the first to say goodbye and the first to hang up.
- Don't be discouraged if she gave you a fake number, it happens even to the
most seasoned of Players.
- At least at first, I recommend pre-scripting bullet points of what you want to say
during the phone conversation. It eliminates those awkward pauses on the
phone.
- You only call to set up dates. You don't call her just to say "what's up." In order
for her to hear your voice she has to see you. That means no calls or texts inbetween.
Don't take calls or texts from her either (especially if she's a textaholic
or at all needy). This quashes attachment (read: dependency) in both parties and
leads to a freer, healthier, and more independent relationship.
- Good phone game is an art in-and-of itself, and for some it can be even more
difficult to master than meeting women in real life. If this is the case for you, I
recommend getting both her phone number and e-mail address when you initially
get her contact information. Send a couple e-mails back and forth first before you
make your initial call. Your conversation will go much smoother and your
chances of getting a date will increase exponentially just because you've already
established a baseline of comfort and trust.
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Here's a template e-mail you can use after you get an e-mail address:
**************************************
Hey [Name], (if she has an e-mail address like CutiePrincessDancer84, make
sure to address it to that name mockingly)
It was good meeting you last night! You were very cool, especially considering
you had toilet paper stuck to your shoe the whole night... JUST KIDDING (I think
it was paper towel).
Anyway, I gotta jet in a couple minutes but I wanted to let you know I was
thinking about our conversation [insert previous conversation topic here] about
finding the best produce in the supermarket and [since I'm a nerd like that] I
found an awesome website that has a legend for picking the best piece of fruit!
Here's the URL. You'll never have to eat an unripened melon again.
You can thank me by bringing a fresh fruit salad over to my work, :-P
Hope all is well with you.