HOW TO OPTIMIZE FACEBOOK SETTINGS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
This section is a how-to guide for settings that help protect children in three
key areas: safety, privacy and reputation. If you have any questions about
specific settings or features, ask young Facebook users at your house! It's a
great way to start a conversation (or have another) about how they're using
the site.
Please don’t be put off when we say “you” rather than “your teen” as we go
through the settings. This is a parents’ guide aimed mostly at helping you
guide your child, but because so many parents now use Facebook themselves,
this is for you too.
Your children's profiles are a reflection on them
More than the clothes you wear, the music you like, or the company you keep,
your Facebook profile is a representation of you. Along with your profile photo
or image and the photos of you that are shared by friends, your profile puts all
the key information about you and your life in one place for an at-a-glance key
to who you are. It's a little like a resume that is constantly being updated, but
it's about all aspects of your life, it's multimedia, and it's updated by your
friends too, not just you.
So it's very important to help our kids think carefully and often – really as
often as they post photos and information – about what their profile says
about them and who sees it. Working through the following how-to's for
Facebook privacy will help you and your children think this digital selfrepresentation
through right now, but it's also a good idea to revisit those
settings as kids mature and get ready for new phases of their lives.
9
Safety, Privacy & Reputation Point: What you say reflects on you. It
always helps to think about the impact and audience when you post on
someone’s wall, “Like” or comment on someone’s update or even support a
cause. What might this say about you? If you just want to say something
to a single friend, just send a private message or use Facebook chat. But
remember that even that can be copied and posted somewhere else if the
person didn’t like what you said (or did)!
Sample profile of "Cary Smarteen" shows her name, school, city, home town,
relationship status, birthdate and 5 most recent photos – but "Cary" doesn't have to
include all that!
Why children should be honest about their age
Facebook requires users to enter their real birthday. If they’re under 13, they won’t be
allowed to sign up. If they’re between 13 and 18, they will have some special
protections just for minors.
When you set up a new Facebook account, one of the first things you’re asked
to do is enter your full date of birth, including year. This is the only time
that's required, and we recommend that it's the only time teens provide their
birth year, whether asked for it or not. Birthdays are fine and can be left
displayed in their profiles, but not the year. Friends usually know how old they
are anyway, and it’s usually not a good idea to share this information
publically.
10
We strongly recommend against people lying about their age when they setup
their account. There are both legal and child-development reasons why
Facebook restricts membership to people 13 and older. In addition to
complying with U.S. law, Facebook has created an environment designed only
for teens and adults. The rules, policies, protections and safety education that
Facebook has in place are all designed for people 13 and older.
Having said that, we need to face reality. A July 2010 survey found that 37%
of U.S. 10-to-12-year-olds were on Facebook, which means that every one of
these children had to lie about their age to get on the service. Adults can
discuss how good or bad this is for children, but it has become a fact of life we
all face. If you have children under 13 who are on the service, we recommend
that they cancel their accounts and that you encourage them to use more ageappropriate
services. But if they are going to continue despite the site’s
restrictions, it's even more important to help them configure their privacy
settings to the most restrictive level possible, and be sure to “friend” them or
otherwise monitor their online use. Read on for how you can do that.
Choose friends wisely
After you or your teen has been on Facebook awhile, you will likely get friend
requests. These are messages asking permission to be a Facebook “friend”
with that person. Once you accept that request, you can see what they post
and they can see what you post, subject to the privacy settings we cover later.
If the request comes from someone you want to stay in touch with, you’ll
probably want to Confirm the person as a friend. But if you don’t know that
person from the real world or if you have any reason not to want to
communicate with them on Facebook, you can click Not Now, and they will not
be added. And if you choose never to add them, don’t worry, they won’t get a
message saying you’ve rejected them.
Just as you can add friends, you can easily remove them by going to the
bottom of their page and clicking Remove from Friends. Here, too, they will
not get a message saying that they have been removed.
11
Saf ety Point: Research shows that aggressive behavior online increases
the aggressor's risk. Bullying behavior can incite retaliation; online bullies
and targets can switch roles in an instant – by typing comments or posting
embarrassing photos in a chain reaction. So being kind or civil online isn’t
just a nice idea: it’s also protective.
This section is a how-to guide for settings that help protect children in three
key areas: safety, privacy and reputation. If you have any questions about
specific settings or features, ask young Facebook users at your house! It's a
great way to start a conversation (or have another) about how they're using
the site.
Please don’t be put off when we say “you” rather than “your teen” as we go
through the settings. This is a parents’ guide aimed mostly at helping you
guide your child, but because so many parents now use Facebook themselves,
this is for you too.
Your children's profiles are a reflection on them
More than the clothes you wear, the music you like, or the company you keep,
your Facebook profile is a representation of you. Along with your profile photo
or image and the photos of you that are shared by friends, your profile puts all
the key information about you and your life in one place for an at-a-glance key
to who you are. It's a little like a resume that is constantly being updated, but
it's about all aspects of your life, it's multimedia, and it's updated by your
friends too, not just you.
So it's very important to help our kids think carefully and often – really as
often as they post photos and information – about what their profile says
about them and who sees it. Working through the following how-to's for
Facebook privacy will help you and your children think this digital selfrepresentation
through right now, but it's also a good idea to revisit those
settings as kids mature and get ready for new phases of their lives.
9
Safety, Privacy & Reputation Point: What you say reflects on you. It
always helps to think about the impact and audience when you post on
someone’s wall, “Like” or comment on someone’s update or even support a
cause. What might this say about you? If you just want to say something
to a single friend, just send a private message or use Facebook chat. But
remember that even that can be copied and posted somewhere else if the
person didn’t like what you said (or did)!
Sample profile of "Cary Smarteen" shows her name, school, city, home town,
relationship status, birthdate and 5 most recent photos – but "Cary" doesn't have to
include all that!
Why children should be honest about their age
Facebook requires users to enter their real birthday. If they’re under 13, they won’t be
allowed to sign up. If they’re between 13 and 18, they will have some special
protections just for minors.
When you set up a new Facebook account, one of the first things you’re asked
to do is enter your full date of birth, including year. This is the only time
that's required, and we recommend that it's the only time teens provide their
birth year, whether asked for it or not. Birthdays are fine and can be left
displayed in their profiles, but not the year. Friends usually know how old they
are anyway, and it’s usually not a good idea to share this information
publically.
10
We strongly recommend against people lying about their age when they setup
their account. There are both legal and child-development reasons why
Facebook restricts membership to people 13 and older. In addition to
complying with U.S. law, Facebook has created an environment designed only
for teens and adults. The rules, policies, protections and safety education that
Facebook has in place are all designed for people 13 and older.
Having said that, we need to face reality. A July 2010 survey found that 37%
of U.S. 10-to-12-year-olds were on Facebook, which means that every one of
these children had to lie about their age to get on the service. Adults can
discuss how good or bad this is for children, but it has become a fact of life we
all face. If you have children under 13 who are on the service, we recommend
that they cancel their accounts and that you encourage them to use more ageappropriate
services. But if they are going to continue despite the site’s
restrictions, it's even more important to help them configure their privacy
settings to the most restrictive level possible, and be sure to “friend” them or
otherwise monitor their online use. Read on for how you can do that.
Choose friends wisely
After you or your teen has been on Facebook awhile, you will likely get friend
requests. These are messages asking permission to be a Facebook “friend”
with that person. Once you accept that request, you can see what they post
and they can see what you post, subject to the privacy settings we cover later.
If the request comes from someone you want to stay in touch with, you’ll
probably want to Confirm the person as a friend. But if you don’t know that
person from the real world or if you have any reason not to want to
communicate with them on Facebook, you can click Not Now, and they will not
be added. And if you choose never to add them, don’t worry, they won’t get a
message saying you’ve rejected them.
Just as you can add friends, you can easily remove them by going to the
bottom of their page and clicking Remove from Friends. Here, too, they will
not get a message saying that they have been removed.
11
Saf ety Point: Research shows that aggressive behavior online increases
the aggressor's risk. Bullying behavior can incite retaliation; online bullies
and targets can switch roles in an instant – by typing comments or posting
embarrassing photos in a chain reaction. So being kind or civil online isn’t
just a nice idea: it’s also protective.
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